This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
