Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
