if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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