Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
