Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
