toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
