I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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