I am puke
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
