and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
