Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
im drinking this country out of the recession.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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