We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Mom said you looked used
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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