Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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