It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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