It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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