We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
