It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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