the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
