I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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