Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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