So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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