One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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