cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
