he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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