I think I died a long time ago.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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