mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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