I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize