I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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