I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I met the friendliest cop last night
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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