My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
