if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize