did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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