Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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