i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
