Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
whose parrot is this?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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