ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
