If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
home. puking in laundry basket.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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