Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i permit you to call me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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