i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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