i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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