names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have already put on my inside pants.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
