There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize