i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
