i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
