After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Randomize
