You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
