her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I need moral support for this bender
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
