really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
