mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
