At least make sure they are 18
Why
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Randomize
