you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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