wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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