i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
