I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
