Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Everything about him screamed your future.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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