why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i think i just lost a toe
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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