You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
