the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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